Pondering at Two

A few days ago I ate a salad. I was about to puncture the last little piece of lettuce when she cried out from the pool of Italian dressing she was bathing in. “No, don’t eat me!” she pleaded. “But I’m hungry, I’m a human and you’re a piece of lettuce.” I replied. “I’m supposed to eat you. That’s just the way it goes.” This did not convince the piece of lettuce to reevaluated her position in the world and accept her fate. She gathered up her anger and loudly protested my short sightedness. “So I supposed the Native Americans were just supposed to be kicked off their lands by the European settlers. That’s just the way it goes. And the Africans were just supposed to be enslaved by the slave owners. That’s just the way it goes. And the Jews just supposed to be genocided by Hitler. That’s just how it is. Is that how you want it to be?” I sat back. The lettuce had made a good point. I was just the newest oppressor in a long history of oppression. I really had to reevaluate my position in the world. The lettuce smiled at my progress. Then I popped her into my mouth and ate her. Afterward I burped. Satisfaction.